April 2021

 April started with Spring break.  Friday CJ stayed home from school to finish packing and get ready for our trip, Jay took a half-day at work to get ready for his trip and took a partial day at work.  I got home at 1:30 and we packed the car and headed to the airport.  We went to lunch and then Jay dropped us off at the airport and then he headed to Virginia for a fishing weekend with his brother.  2 days before our trip I had to call the TSA to make sure that they know that CJ was not able to go through the scanners.  The lady that I talked to on the phone was so nice and helpful, but it was very confusing when we got to the airport.  They were not as organized and helpful.  CJ said that by the time the lady came to do her scan, the lady was very nice and tried to make her feel better.  After that was over everything went very smoothly.  While we were waiting to get on the plane I got a call from Anderson 2, which is the place I interview earlier in the week.  They offered me the job.  I will be working at an Elementary school. I accepted the job but am so nervous that I did not do the right thing.  I have been at Glenview forever.  We got on the plane make it to Atlanta changed planes and off to San Diego.  The people that sat by us on the plane were very nice and besides a very long flight, CJ and I did well. We got there in perfect time for Lydia to show up and pick us up.

We got back to the hotel and went right to sleep.  The next day we got up and got ready because we were going to hit San Diago running.  We wanted to see so many things and goof area.   First, it was off to the University of San Diego.  CJ wanted to look at the campus.  We could not take a tour because of COVID everything was virtual.  So we just drove through and looked at some of the builds as we passed.  We then went to Balboa Park.  I had never been there.  Lydia's girls wanted to go because it was a place they would go a lot with Perry.  I guess Perry helped design the Japanese garden that is in the middle of the park.  It was a very nice walk and very pretty.  CJ and I enjoyed seeing all the fancy buildings and gardens.

After we left the Park we went over to the ocean.  I forgot how different the beach is here in South Carolina compared to in San Deigo.  There was a lot of people smoking pot so it really smelled bad.  Also, everything just looked populated not all clean beaches with pretty white sand.  But we had fun walking on the rocks and looking at the sea life.  I enjoyed watching the surfers.  I forgot how big the waves.  

We then were going to go to Old Town and have lunch but we could not find a parking spot.  So off to Seaport Village to find lunch and so that the girls could shop.  I had never been to Seaport Village.  It was pretty but very much a tourist trap.  CJ kept going low with her blood sugar and we could not find a place that we could all eat.  Bailey is very allergic to Dairy and we had to find a place that was dairy-free.  Seaport Village was not the place for that.  So I got CJ some ice cream to bring her blood sugar up, but then she could not go near Bailey because of the dairy.  

We left Seaport village and the girls wanted to go to Fashion Valley (Which turned out to be a big mall). We were able to find dinner at the mall that we all could eat and by that time we were all very hungry. We talked around the mall for a while after we ate and then decide that we were all very tired and needed to go back to the hotel.  CJ, Lydia, and I walked up to Trader Joes to get some snacks and things for breakfast and the road trip to Yuma. We were happy on our walk to find Sees Candy.  All Jay asked us to bring back for him was Sees Candy since we do not have one here.

In the morning we got up and started on our way to Yuma,  I wanted to go by Juliane, CA, and get some peach-apple pie but was not able to because the Pie Company was closed because it was Easter weekend. As we were driving we stopped to use the bathroom and let CJ get out because she was getting car sick.  Where we stopped you could see the Mexican border fence.  CJ thought that was really cool because she had heard so much about it on the news.  I just thought that she looked so pretty with her dress blow in the wind that I had to take a picture of her.  She liked that you could see the fence in the background.

Our next stop was the best.  It was the Imperial Sand Dunes and for any Star Wars fan, this was the best.  CJ took lots of pictures and sent them to her friends.  I took some of her so that she could impose BB8 in the picture and a lightsaber.  It was hot but it was fun just running and taking pictures. 

When we got to Yuma.  Lydia had arranged for us to stay with friends of hers and Perry's.  They were a very nice couple and it was so nice of them to put us up for the next couple of days.  They were going to make us dinner so we did not have to worry about going out.  I wanted to do something fun in Yuma before dinner so I asked if anyone wanted to go to the Yuma Territorial Prison.  CJ, Lydia, Bailey, and I went to the prison.  Poor CJ by this time her sunburn from yesterday was really starting to turn bright red.  When we got to the Prison the ranger asked if we needed sunscreen because her burn was starting to hurt him. I told him that I have already put stuff on it for her.  But he was right it was looking bad.  CJ enjoyed the prison texting her friends to tell them that she was in Prison.  Millie's sister texted her asking what happened.  CJ thought that was so funny.  We got her a shirt that said that she escaped prison and CJ got a bunch of cards for some of her friends in the play. Including one of CL that had a picture of the prison and said wish you were here.  Because he had just all of a sudden stopped talking to her with no explanation. It was a fun afternoon.

Dinner that night was very nice and then CJ and I went to see Roxanne and Jaylee.  They went swimming and then we went for ice cream at Dairy Queen.  The Dairy Queen on Fortuna had been torn down and rebuilt in a different spot so it was not quite the same, but it was still ice cream on Fortuna Rd. which had so many memories for Jay and me.  Including that is where we rode to the night we got married.

The next morning we got up and I took CJ to one of my favorite places for breakfast.  We went to Arizona Donuts for Chorizo Burritos and then over to Mostly muffins for the gourmet muffins.  CJ could not believe how good and different the burrito was.  She rolled her eyes in delight.  I told her that is what I am always looking for in South Carolina.  A burrito that you have to hold with 2 hands.

We got to Mom's and she was not ready for us.  She said that she had an appointment that she forgot about, her bed that she wanted over at Wendy's could not be taking apart,  she had not started packing and had not rested a truck.  So I started with changing out the air conditioner that she had bought for the porch that she is moving onto at Wendy's.  I do not understand why Wendy is putting her on the porch when Grandma's house that mom gave Wendy has 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, and 2 living rooms.  But it is not my life, I was just there to help mom move out of Brain's house.  It was a very stressful day.  So when we went over to Brain's to get mom's bed and start packing, Restory's soon-to-be mother-in-law came and got Lydia's girls and CJ.  They went and got lunch, painted eggs, and the girls played video games.  After a while, CJ was nervous and did not feel comfortable at Elizabeth's house.  So I went and got her.  It was good timing because I had finished getting Mom's bed and a few other things.  I had put together her bed on the porch for her and was feeling that I needed a bath and a break from the stress.  

After I picked up CJ I took her over to Roxaboxan so that I could get some new pictures for my being of the year representation.  CJ was a good sport with letting me take lots of pictures.

When we got back to Jeff and Rena's house CJ was very stressed and not feeling comfortable.  Jeff got out his guitar for her and let her play for a while.  This made CJ feel so much better.  CJ is just not one for sitting on her phone or playing video games.  She was feeling that no one wanted her around.  I understand how she was feeling.  I was starting to feel the same way.  Jeff and Rena were wonderful to talk to and trying to make CJ and I feel welcome.  I could have sat and talked to Rena for hours.  We had a nice dinner and headed off to bed.  

The next day we got up and went back over to mom's to try and finish moving her.  While we were packing and moving her.  CJ and Lydia's girls went swimming with Wendy. After they were done swimming I had the girls come to help us move things. It was a hot day and with a lot of work, we were able to get all of mom's stuff backed up and moved.  It was so much and I did not understand all the mess.  Mom and I fought like we always do because I just do not understand her nor do I understand not telling the truth or all the hoarding.  We took some family pictures that turned out very nice.  For me being so dirty and sweaty I am surprised that they turned out so well.

I then took CJ to Ronnie's pizza for Cheesesteak and to pick up my taxes.  We then had some time to drive around Yuma and I was able to show CJ where she lived when she was little.  Lydia and the girls all went to lunch with mom and Wendy.  

The next move that I made would turn out to be the worst thing that I ever did.  After we all got back to Rene and Jeff's I was so tired and upset over things with mom that all I wanted was a very hot shower, feel clean, and not feel like a burned on anyone.  So I suggested that we head to Phoenix that night.  That would turn into the biggest nightmare and not the relaxing time I was hoping for.  I wanted to please everyone including myself and it all backfired in my face.  Hine sight is 20/20 and I never saw what was coming.  To think back we should have never gone to Phoenix and just stayed in Yuma then went back to San Deigo on Friday. Only if I could do it again. We started to pack to head to Phoenix, CJ and I went to a friend's house to say hi before we left.  It was good to see Jo.  I could not believe that her daughter who was just in Elementary school when we left was now teaching at the High School and had a daughter.  We got back to the house packed our things and started to head out to Phoenix.  We stopped at In-n-Out Burger because one of CJ's teachers was talking about it and CJ wanted to try it.  That was mistake 1. Bailey could not eat them and I did not think about her.  Though she did say that she was not hungry. 

 We got to Phoenix around 9:00 so it was not too late but we were all very tired.  It felt so good to get in the shower and just wash the dirt and stress off.  The hotel was very nice and I was happy to feel clean.  On the way to the hotel, CJ saw a coffee shop called Xanadu just like her play.  I told her in the morning we could stop there for Coffee.  

The next morning we got up went to the free Breakfast.  It did not have much that Baily or Lydia could eat.  I texted Montse and she told me that we could not come over until noon.  We tried to get in touch with Debbie but she was out of town.  So I found a place that was Free not far from the hotel for us to go it.  It was a tourist thing.  It was "Hole in the Rock."  We checked out the hotel and went to Hole in the Rock.  It was a very short hike and really cool.  Lydia's girls did not seem happy about going or the hike.  I was unsure what was going on with them, but they did not want to talk to CJ or me and did not even what to walk near us.  CJ and I enjoyed the hike and I was surprised that CJ did not get too scared of the heights she just enjoyed the views from the hole.

After leaving Hole in the Rock we stopped by the Xanadu Coffee shop.  I was hoping that there would be some food that Bailey and Lydia could eat but there was not.  Bailey would not even sit down in the shop and Lydia's girls seemed very upset.  When I asked what was going on the tiers came and it turned out that the girls thought that we were only doing what CJ and I wanted to do this whole trip, that all they wanted to do was go back to San Deigo and remember Perry.  They were very said that did not what to go to Montse or to Sadona with Montse.  They just wanted to go back to San Deigo.  I told them that just found that they did not need to continue on this trip.  That CJ and I could rent a car and head to Montse's for lunch and then on to Cathy's or we could all go to Montse for lunch and then on to Cathy's but I was not going to make them do anything that was making them so unhappy because it was not making me happy.  CJ and I went away so that they could talk about what they wanted to do as a family.  CJ drank her coffee and I got her a shirt from the store.

After the coffee, Lydia and the girls decide that they wanted to go to Montse's, and then we would head to Cathy's in California.  Then they would head on to San Diego.  This was great we had a plan and everyone seemed not so out of sorts. So when we got to Montse's house I told her that we were going to have lunch and then we were going to head to California.  That we were not going to go to Sadona was just too much and the girls did not what to.  So Montse went to the girls and asked them why they did not what to go to Sadona and they said that it was because I did not what to go.  Montse then got upset thinking that I was lying to her.  So instead of just sticking with my plan which would have been better for the girls.  I said fine we will all go to Sadona with Montse. I said that at least I could take CJ and the girls to Montezuma's Castle and Montezuma's Well, two of my favorite places.  Montse wanted to take CJ and me out for Mexican when we got to Sadona but Bailey could not do that.  Bailey was already upset because Monste had cross-contaminated the forks with dairy so she was very nervous about having an allergic reaction. By the time that we got going to Sadona, it was late and the parks were closed so we could not go to the Castle or the Well.  Lydia and the girls decide to get groceries and cook something at the house while Montse took CJ and me out.  Again, this caused many conflicts, but I wanted to please everyone and felt like all I was doing was upsetting everyone.  We should have left for California after lunch and not gone to Sadona. 

CJ and Ellie had a great time together.  CJ taught Ellie some cords on the guitar and they had so much fun walking around the neighborhood and getting caught up.  CJ was so happy to be somewhere where she was feeling that people wanted her. 

In the morning we got up and packed up it still seemed so uncomfortable.  We started to head to California.  I thought that we could still stop at the well and castle.  Lydia wanted to get a shirt for Restory from Sadona so we went downtown first.   Everyone seemed to start to relax some, but it was still very uncomfortable.  

CJ's Dexcom started to come off so we had to stop at Walgreens to get her tape.  It worked to hold it on and I was able to pick her up a cheap T-shirt for Sedona. We then head to see Montezuma's Well.  I just love that place and CJ did really great even though it was very high up.  She did not even show how scared she was of the heights or complain about the walk down into the Well.  I was so glad because I so wanted to share my love of this beautiful place with CJ and the girls. 

We then left there and went to the grocery store to get lunch.  We got some great stuff that we all could eat.  We then went on to the castle but found out that it was $10 a person to get in so we decided not to go and just have a picnic lunch somewhere else.  We found a small park near the library and had a lovely lunch.  We then headed down the mountain to California.

It was a long but beautiful drive and we made it to Cathy's with no problems.  Lydia and the girls decided to get up in the morning and head to San Deigo to get Kenndy and CJ and I would stay with Cathy.  Lydia asked if they could come back and stay another night at Cathy's after they spent the day in San Diego.  On Friday Cathy and I decided to go for Mexican and then to Oak Glen.  Oak Glen had been hit hard by fire and there was nothing up there. All the little shops that we enjoyed going to were gone from the fire.  They were rebuilding but it was really sad to see.  We had such a nice relaxing day with Cathy.  I am so lucky to have a friend that is so understanding.  That evening we went over to Cathy's mom's home because we have not seen her in a long time or seen her new place.  

In the morning Lydia's girls wanted to go back to San Deigo because they wanted to watch the sunset on the beach.  So I got a hotel and we left Cathy's. Before we left I took Lydia and the girls up to Oak Glen.

 We stopped by Fashion Valley to try and find CJ a DanDeigo University sweatshirt but we are not able to find one.  We then went to the beach to watch the sunset.  Lydia looked so happy at the same time sad missing Perry.

The next day we got up and flew home.  It was a very rough day in San Deigo and CJ was happy to be heading home to where she felt loved.  Things will never be the same with CJ and her cousins after this trip.  I do wish that we never went but you can not take it back the past. 

When we got home CJ started her long days of play practice.  On Thursday, April 22 she had her first show and it was amazing.  I could not believe how good everyone was.  It was a fun show and I so enjoyed it.  I was so proud of my star.  I would go to the play with friends 2 more times.

CJ finished her driving school and in the end got her driver's license.  She was so excited and it was good and scary that she can drive on her own. She first wanted to drive to the grocery store for us.  I then got her a parking permit for school so that she could drive to school and her dad did not have to drop her off.  She really liked that she could sleep in a bit.

CJ received student of the quarter from her engineering teacher.  His comment on her award would end up being ironic later in the school year. He wrote, "to CJ Doss, for making it look easy ("it" being both knocking out the classwork, AND maintaining composure amidst a sea of drama and immaturity.)"